Influences and Attitude

There are some days where you just need a little nudge, glimmer of light, slap on the back, or, just a smile to get you through.  What helps you get through those kind of days?  Caffeine?  Phone calls? music? a good nap??

I'm still trying to figure out how I cope with the many situations that I seem to encounter..sometimes daily.  Anger, stress, unplanned events, disappointments, anxiety, fear and everything else that is part of a normal day.   I think my response may be dependent on where I am in my "monthly gift" cycle--one of the weeks I'm too tired to really follow through, the next week I'm ready to take on the world (and the planets), the next week I can't remember why I walked into a room, or, where I put my ipod, can't finish telling a story because I forgot what point I was trying to make, and feel like I'm chasing my tail. Then there's the week where it's: "LOOK OUT!! YOU WILL NOT WIN THIS WEEK!!" (I've actually used that line with my family members...or, they say I give them "the look" and they know to not go there...I have not idea what they are referring to....)

I like to look at situations and treat them as an individual file in my huge filing cabinet (inside my head).. look at each one separately, what can I do about it, what is out of my control, is there a silver lining?  Is it really as bad as I think it is, or, am I overreacting?  Would be nice to say that this is an easy process....but, um..no...
I have watched my sister cope with the loss of her husband to cancer...then, her oldest son was diagnosed with cancer...watched her put herself through LPN and RN school, and, just recently passed her RN boards.  We met for lunch a couple weeks ago and while I was driving away, I had an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness to have such a strong role model in my life.  I have always looked up to her, we have been there for each other and I know that know matter what life throws her way--she's going to be just fine!
I have watched another sister lose a child after 3 days of giving birth.  The dark pitted sorrow that she felt and what she went through will always be in my heart.  However, she choose to use her experience to help others and be the person that would be there for you in a second if you needed her.  She is my rock, the one I call when I just need to cry and know that she will understand.  She has taught me how to cope when things seem so gray that you don't know if there is another side.
I feel blessed to be surrounded by supportive people that are also a positive influence in how I choose to live my life.  I do not tolerate negativity very well...if you have spent time with me, I'm sure you witnessed me saying "NO NEGATIVITY!"  I've had my share of dealing with negative personalities..they are everywhere.  But I choose to not let them influence me.
I am an educated woman, I know the difference between right and wrong and I have always felt that I can read people pretty well...so I thought...I've been in a situation where I was totally fooled by another persons sincerity.  To find out down the road that discussions that you felt were private-were actually made public...emotions that you felt were respected-were actually the center of stories told about you...and values that you uphold in your life-were ridiculed and twisted to become an entertaining conversation subject when you weren't around...oh yes...I know negativity and the impact it can have on someones life.  NOT FUN!

I am in a better place, surrounded by a family that I love, friends that understand what being a "friend" truly means, and work with people that encourage success.  I have no room for Negative Nellie's!  I realize that what I went through has made me stronger and allowed me to challenge myself with goals that a year ago I didn't think I could reach (ie: the upcoming show!!!!!).
So, even when I'm tired, assertive, hyper or determined-I know that my actions and words are all dictated by me...I choose how I live my life, I will spend time with people that encourage and support one another, I will cheer for everyone that needs a lift in their day...and will always smile and be pleasant to grumpy people (that really gets them!).
So...there you have it...Deep Thoughts by Caryn Locke...